Know your future masters! To prepare the masses of Earth for sheeplike submission after Clan 9 From Outer Space completes its irresistible program of world domination, we provide here a helpful guide describing those of Clan 9 who will be interacting with Earthlings, both before and after The Day.
- These are the personnel in the Crush the Earthlings department of Clan 9 From Outer Space, or more simply Public Relations:
- When engaged in coordinated extermination exercises, Public Relations personnel wear all-yellow battlesuits. Otherwise they will be attired in their personal colors. See the contact page for more helpful hints on recognizing and interacting with Clan 9.
- Clan 9 From Outer Space does not accept new members. You are not From Outer Space. We are.
- Finally: Clan 9 From Outer Space, possessing alien technology beyond your comprehension, is made up entirely of what you Earthlings charmingly term Low-Ping Bastards. Our advantage is even more overwhelming if you should choose to board our Mothership. Fortunately, our more fully evolved consciousnesses entirely lack guilt, remorse, and mercy. As the wise men of our race say about unfair situations: "Dem's da berries."